What I learned about Depression and Anxiety

Depression and anxiety are usually products of fear. It sounds so simple, so stupid, but it is the truth. If you would have said that to me years ago, I would have explained to you what a brave person I am, but it would be a lie. That’s not to say that we are all cowards. No, far from that. We just have a powerful, underlying fear that is echoing in our minds on a constant basis. Someone who is afraid of spiders, for instance, would not be called a coward if they were haunted with spiders on a daily basis.

Now, if we are going to delve into this, it is only fair that I tell you a bit about me. I am an overachiever. In high school, I was the honor roll student, constantly getting great marks without having to try too hard (yes, I realize the seething hatred that others feel when encountering people such as myself). I had set high expectations. I will be an honor roll student every year, be the best in every job, have a great family, make lots of money, and retire early to focus on my real passions. Nothing less would suffice.

However, things rarely go as planned. I first experienced depression in high school (unsurprisingly). You cannot commit to living a full life by denying who you are. I didn’t know that then (or better, I didn’t realize that at that time). In university, my grades tanked (also, a very common phenomenon). This was when I realized that my ideal life was slipping away. To me, this was a realization of my fear of failure.

Cue the existential crisis.


Over the years (almost 10 years), I tried different things to get over this. So, here we are.


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