The Truth About Time and Deadlines

Here we are. The end of the first week of 2018. This is a time of self-reflection and possibilities. We feel it all around us. There is this sense of realizing that anything can happen within the span of the next 12 months. Anything at all. I hope that you have a wonderful year, full of learning and happiness and growth.

Before you embark any further into your own personal journeys, I want to remind you about something important: we are not constrained to anyone’s timeline. Your life is your own. The lessons you learn along the way are yours too. It is unique and different to mine or anyone else’s that you meet.

 

The Dangers of Comparisons

I know that I have touched upon this earlier, but just to reiterate, don’t worry about what people are accomplishing around you. This is particularly important when you see all of your friends getting married, having kids, finding amazing jobs. You are left to wonder “why not me?”.

If you haven’t reached these milestones yet, it doesn’t matter. Not one bit.

But what do I say to my family or my friends when they ask me questions about my life?

That will happen. Unfortunately, you can’t filter out what people say. The most important thing is that you are confident in your decisions. You can be honest, hear the general outcries of disapproval, but in the end, they will (eventually) realize that you know what you are doing. How? By telling them the honest to goodness truth. Explain your opinions, your reasoning, whatever they may be.

Communication is key. The aftermath settles. Sometimes it just takes a bit longer.

 

Forcing Yourself Into the Status Quo

Some people jump into things. I know I did. You probably have as well. There are pressures all around us – from family, friends, media – to get things done and get them done early in life.

“You’re 18! You should be going to university/college!”
“You’re almost 30! You should really settle down and have children!”
“You’re getting too old to be chasing after pipe dreams! Find a real job!”

Lies. All of them! I will not stand to hear comments like that.

What’s wrong with people saying that? I know that they are right. Everyone else is doing the same thing. Why am I so special to rebel?

These comments cause you to commit to things that you may not yet be ready for. You find yourself imprisoned in a marriage that you cannot stand, you find yourself unable to look after your children in the way you imagined, you find yourself in debt because you are enrolled in a program that you no longer care for.

Take your time. Some people are not ready to jump into things like this right away. Sometimes we aren’t ready or we aren’t prepared for the consequences. It’s not wrong, it doesn’t make you a bad person. It makes you, … well, you!

Here’s the thing. Human beings, as a species, constantly adapt to our environments. It’s why we’re here today. Many, many years ago, we would only live for a short time. It became important to find a spouse before you were in your mid 20s, otherwise you wouldn’t have enough time to have children and watch them grow. That being said, you would also have to find a suitable career for your prospective family.

Now, we are living longer. We are surrounded by advancements in medicine and technology that allow us to extend our lifespan. The same rules no longer apply. So, go have fun with your time!

 

Re-Starting Later in Life

I couldn’t resist.

This is a theme for many of us. The older you get, the more you see that it does happen. People realize that their career is not fulfilling, the person that they’re with is not making them happy, their lives are less than what they want. So, they pick things up. Perhaps age has a way of making someone less ashamed to do these things.

I’ve seen someone in their 40s enroll themselves in college to pursue a new career path. Many may have told her that she’s silly and that she may only get a few years in the new role before she would have to retire. So? Also, the sad reality is that many of us don’t retire at the “normal retirement age”.

I know someone who decided to try to learn how to play a guitar late in life. He enrolled himself in a program that primarily teaches children, but there he was.

If taking things slow allow you to live a life that you can be proud of, why would you ever want to change that? So, if you don’t hear this within this year, know that it is okay to take your time. We learn at different paces and life is a learning experience.

 

So, take a deep breath. Let go of the unattainable goals, and focus on what you want, what you need, in this very moment. Do you need a break? Take 5 minutes. Drink some water. Have some tea. Wherever you are, put yourself first and really mean it.

Let go of the end goal. The lessons you learn along the journey are far more important. The achievements are just the cherry on top.

Happy New Year everyone!

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Picking Up Where You Left Off

I know, I know. I said I wasn’t going to add cheesy quotes…

Sometimes, we wake up and realize that we are no longer doing something that we once set out to do. You may have had everything ready for you to succeed, and yet, here you are. It’s been months since you stepped foot in a gym. Or, it’s been weeks since you’ve focused on your personal projects. Perhaps you haven’t been giving your personal life much attention.  

If no one tells you this today, I want you to know that this is perfectly normal. It is okay to take a breather every now and then. Don’t punish yourself. 

Now, you may be in a position where you don’t know how to pick up the habit once again.

How do you motivate yourself again? 

It’s not all that difficult.  

 

Just try it 

Yes, you’ve probably heard this one many times. So many times that it has become cliché. However, this cliché happens to be truthful. Just try. Take that step but be patient. That first line of the page, the first stroke of the brush, the first major meeting, and whatever else you find to be your first stepping stone may appear to be a monstrosity.  

Each and every day that you choose to meet the monster, that you choose to stay and fight, you will be rewarded. Once you take that first plunge into the old habit, things have a way of being slightly easier. Don’t worry, I’m not here to tell you that life will be full of sunshine and rainbows and bunnies after the first step. However, by taking the first step into this old habit once more, you have proven that you have will. You will meet the obstacles you have faced once when you first started on your journey. Now, you have all the resources to beat them. And you will be victorious. If not, that’s fine. Small defeats are nothing compared to the end goal.  

 

Remind yourself Why 

We’ve all been here. You’re staring at yourself in the mirror and wondering, “why the hell am I doing this”. That is an important question. Try to answer it. Why are you doing this hobby or doing this specific thing? Once you have the answer, it becomes your weapon. Those tiny little reasons why you shouldn’t do this will dissipate because now you have a purpose.  

Failures are a part of life. Procrastination is human nature. The difference is what you choose to do once the fogginess and weariness drift away.  

It is also important to understand why you stopped. No, the answer isn’t that you are lazy or that you don’t care. There was a specific reason. Something happened. Knowing that allows you to understand what to expect when attempting this again.  

 

Facing the Criticisms  

Yes, we are all our own worst enemies. You slip and fall and you laugh at yourself. However, sometimes the opinions come from elsewhere. It’s difficult facing others when they seem to reiterate what you are thinking.  

First, understand that everyone is entitled to their way of thinking. None of us can change that. You will always meet people who will disagree with you and what you want to do. There will always be reasons why you should not do something.

How do you combat that? 

Just think of your reasons why you are doing whatever it is that you are doing. The ultimate goal is to achieve a sense of fullness and happiness in your life. If this is something that will grant you that, then the rest does not matter.

That’s easier said than done. 

The most important piece of advice that I can offer you is that your happiness should be a priority in your life. That does not mean you have to push people away. On the contrary, have a conversation! Your loved ones will support you once they realize how invested you are. It may take some time. It may not be easy. But, it will happen. Also, once you figure out why you are doing this, it will be that much easier to explain to others. Your words will carry the confidence of knowing what you expect to be the end result. Who can argue that?

 

So, go out there with your head held high. Small victories add up. Overtime, this will be easier.