Happy Friday! Now that we are heading into the weekend, we usually have to spend more time with friends and family. This poses a lot of difficulty for those of us who suffer from depression. I’ll briefly go over some techniques used to circumvent any unwanted animosity.
The Negative Relationships
There are a few people in our lives that seem to relish every moment that you fall, and stop at nothing to bring you down. A name or a face probably just popped in your head. When you are trying to better yourselves, this type of relationship will do nothing other than harm your progress. Progress is fragile.
What do I do?
If the person is a friend, slowly fade them out of your lives. Spend time away from one another. I know, I know. Why am I asking you to distance yourself from people? This negative energy will only remind you of the things that are going wrong in your life. You don’t have to ignore the person for the rest of your life, just spend less time with them until you are back on your feet.
What if this person is a close family member?
This gets trickier. We may not always find ourselves in situations where we can separate ourselves from relatives. There are things that you can still do to “distance” yourself.
Close your eyes. Imagine that there are strings emerging from your chest, connecting you to all of your friends and family. I want you to focus on those people that are bringing you down. Picture their faces. Now, cut the string.
Don’t waste a thought on them. Don’t worry about their well-being. Don’t care about what they have to say. They are just a person. A stranger. Nothing more. It’s hard to think like this, but give yourself a chance to let that lesson sink in.
Reaching Out to Someone
Sometimes, we overlook certain people in our lives, assuming that they would not want to hear what you have to say. Sometimes, we have tried talking to someone and they haven’t heard. This does not mean you don’t try again. Talk to a more distant friend or acquaintance if it helps. Anyone.
But I don’t want to do that. They might judge me.
People, generally, aren’t that cruel. They won’t always judge you. Besides, your well-being is more important than what someone may think of you at that moment. If things are getting overwhelming, talking to someone may help you put things in perspective – something that so many of us need.
This is coming from someone who used to believe that if they spoke out, it would open the floodgates of suppressed emotions.
YOU ARE IN CONTROL! Your mind works for you. You don’t work for it.
Understanding Your Impact
It is hard work to be nice all the time. To smile when you are in pain. These efforts are sometimes overlooked because people do not know what is going on in your head. However, it is worth it.
When we are constantly in distress, we lash out. We can’t help it. It is just another symptom of this illness that’s weighing you down. Despite this, the other person (the friend or family member) does not understand this. They get confused and worried. Confusion is a strange thing in human beings. Confusion leads to frustration which leads to anger. It’s a horrible cycle.
Do not overlook those who are frustrated with you for those who are negative people. There is usually an underlying reason.
But if they knew me, if they are worried, they shouldn’t be mad at me! Of course, I’m going to be upset with them!
Absolutely you will! You have every right! But, take a moment to also be kind. Not only to yourself, but to others.
That’s easier said than done.
This is another question of understanding perspectives (which I will discuss in another post). Take a deep breath when you are overcome with emotions. Leave the area if you must. Remember to smile (fake it until you make it). Our minds are a strange computer. Sometimes, faking a smile eases the tension we feel. This in turn placates the other person. Peace is restored.
I have not mentioned this as of yet, but if anyone wishes to reach out to me, you can do so. Send me a message.
Visit the contact page.
Have a wonderful weekend! Keep smiling, you beautiful soul. I wish you find your happiness.
Living on Intent 